“I’m getting off,” a much cuter version of myself whined.
“Noooooo!” my cousins really wanted me to stay. I mean I can see why, I’m AWESOME, but I really didn’t feel like being on the trampoline. They had continued jumping to prevent me from getting off. I tried to get off anyway. This appeared to be my fatal flaw. As I put my knee down to help get myself over the bar, it slipped and, “Owwww!” my knee was in the spring! It hurt SOOO badly. At my scream, my cousins looked around, and saw me heavily bleeding. My eldest cousin had picked me up and placed me on a stump, and went to get my parents and a band aid. I was sitting there crying until one of my cousins had given me my new stuffed dog that I had gotten earlier in the day. It had been bought because a goose had bit me.
“Here play with your dog,” my cousin, Amy, had ordered to seize my attention. This had stopped me from crying, but my knee continued to spill blood. My cousin came back with my parents.
She sympathized, “We don’t have any band aids, you’ll need to go to the store.”
My dad came over to me and asked, “Is it okay for Megan(my eldest cousin) to come along?
“U-huh,” I sniffed. I think I took it pretty well for a 3 and a half
year old.
I still have that scar. I like it because it reminds me that I am AWESOME!
Nice job, Rebecca! I love your title as it is a list of three--we will discuss this strategy as we work with narrative writing. You also do a nice job of incorporating dialogue into this vignette. As you continue to develop this piece, tie in your getting bit by a goose into a woven idea about it being a day full of bad experiences. Excellent start to your narrative!
ReplyDeleteThis is great! I could really picture what was happening while I was reading. Why did you say that you got bitten by a goose and that helped you get a new teddy bear? That just sounded randomly weird in a funny way. I once got bitten by agoose because I fed him some coco puffs and he wanted more.
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